Back to school: 7 systems I use with my kids (during the school year)
Do your kids come home from school and immediately want to play video games for about 6 hours straight without doing any homework, chores, or taking any accountability for the home? Maybe you don’t know this, but kids crave structure - even when they don’t know it - and it can cause the adults of the household to feel frustrated and resentful towards their children without understanding why.
The feelings of resentment don’t go away, but simply add up until they overflow and before you know it the yelling and screaming have jumped out of you and towards your kids. I know what this is like because I have been here many times just like you. When my kids would play video games for hours and not listen to me we were missing assignments at school, losing important school papers, homework and reading were basically non-existent and I felt like I was drowning in my lack of routine with my kids.
I had to make a change. And that change included me observing my kids' behavior when they came through the door from school and watching their mood, so I can get a better idea of what their baseline is on most days. I also realized that I needed to take into account that my kids each had their own capabilities and limitations that I needed to take into account before I made any changes. And with that I started the creation process of the 7 systems.
But these 7 systems I created for my household’s after school time wasn’t just for the kids. It was for me too. I was forgetting permission slips, special events at school, fundraisers, etc. and all due to a lack of a routine and system for my kids after school. About 2 years ago I decided to change all of that by slowly adding new systems that I could implement with my kids to make the home run smoother from the time they got home from school until bedtime. I can’t wait to share with you what those 7 systems are.
The 7 systems we are going to dive into:
Bookbag chores
School organization binder
House chores and bedroom chores
Ways kids earn screen time
Family reflections
Kids jobs board
Entertainment for non-earned screen time
I know what it's like to balancing parenthood, responsibility, and ambition while feeling capable but overwhelmed. I was tired of productivity advice that ignores real life of a parent that has tried creating structure but needs help fine tuning their household management. You’re in the right place. I’m a social worker, business owner, and mother.
I know what it feels like to carry a lot while still wanting more. This is why I began testing various household management systems for every category a parent goes through. My work, both professionally and personally, is rooted in calm planning, emotional awareness, and intentional growth.
I want you to keep in mind that these systems can be tweaked to fit the needs of your home based on your children's ages, capabilities and limitations. I help high achievers create action plans in order to win in household management and feel less overwhelmed through my YouTube videos.
Book bag chores
So what are book bag chores?
This system was made to prevent the kids from having the trail of sneakers, socks, bookbags, water bottles and school documents thrown on the floor as soon as they walk through the door. I was getting sick and tired of picking up the trail of remains the kids left behind.
This was one of the first systems that I created for my kids and became the first game changer for our household. They were now responsible for putting their jackets, shoes, bookbags, lunch bags, and water bottles in designated areas in our home instead of throwing them on the floor. I felt like I was living in someone else’s house when I saw how they listened to me with this small change. I went from chaos to control and I loved it. It made me wonder what else I could create as a system in my home. I created the system step-by-step then walked it through with the kids step-by-step for the first few weeks until it became muscle memory for them.
This was when I felt like I was finally winning. But just as that was happening I started to get overwhelmed with keeping up with the school fundraisers, field trip forms, rubrics, school calendars, lunch menus, all the documents that came my way from the kids school folders. It was time to create the second layer of my system.
2. School Organization Binder
Before I created this binder I was missing events at school, spirit weeks when they were little, report cards, permission slips, special notices, etc. Now that I have this implemented I just added it into my kids bookbag chores. They now know that they need to open their folders and let me sort through what’s hidden in their bookbags. Once I sort through what’s important I find time near bedtime to go through the folder and sign forms, fill out documents and respond to any communication from the school. Then I put those documents back into the right kids folders and put them in their bookbag.
Now that I had a solid routine for when they came through the door it was time to figure out a way to have them help around the house based on their capabilities and known limitations. I quickly learned that I needed a chore chart for our house chores and a chore chart for bedroom chores.
3. House Chores and Bedroom chores
I put this together using a white board, washi tape, and dry erase/wet erase markers. I decided it needed to be hung up where everyone in our home can see it to keep accountability for each household member.
I decided to hang this up in the dining room. I like to think of our dining room as our central hub because this is where we all gather for our meals, family game nights, and journaling time. I created this house chore chart from a large white board, washi tape, and dry erase/wet erase markers. Here are the affiliate links where you can purchase them:
White board: https://amzn.to/4fJ9Jb3
Dry erase markers: https://amzn.to/3RJqV78
Wet erase markers: https://amzn.to/4bOZkbl
Washi tape: https://amzn.to/4hq2lm8
We made this chart to ensure all of our household non-negotiables were being completed and included every member of the household doing something within their capability. It was important that we were teaching the kids about accountability and responsibility because that was one of our family pillars.
We made sure to give the kids the weekends off, but we do make sure that Monday-Friday that the kids are doing something to contribute to the household. They also have bedroom chores that were created based on their personal capabilities and limitations. They are expected to do 1-2 bedroom chores everyday after school.
4. Ways kids earn screen time
This fourth system was the key that would prevent the kids 6 hour brain rot videos and the long gaming sessions that got in the way of homework, chores, and accountability. I had to create a way to make the kids earn time to do their gaming after they completed the required house assignment first. There were four main requirements to earn screen time:
Complete your house chores for the day
Meet school expectations for the day
Complete 1-2 bedroom chores
Read a book for 30-minutes/ or listen to an audiobook
This system also had a consequence attached to it as well. If the child did not meet the expectation level in 1 of these areas, then they do not earn screen time for the day. However, there was also a bonus - if the child met their school expectation for the day, then they earned a family game night as well.
Ways kids earn screen time chart
We decided to have the structure for the kids during the week and then let the kids take the weekend to relax since they don’t have school expectations during the weekend. The reason I added the school expectations is due to one of my kids having a behavior chart and I wanted to make sure that the behavior expectations at school were rewarded at home and that the behavior expectations at home were also rewarded.
5. Family reflections
This is the second biggest part of our 7 systems because it is the glue that binds that entire system together and makes it all come full circle. Reflections as a family are about how the week has gone and what they can do to improve, while also celebrating accomplishments and growth. We also take this time to go over what’s on the family’s schedule for the current week, any changes coming up that directly impact the family, and we like to take some time to do some family reading from 2 different types of books. One book is about understanding and expressing our emotions, and the other book is about 101 things that kids need to know.
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Me and my feelings: https://amzn.to/4ffIlRX
101 things every kids needs to know: https://amzn.to/4wPM0vy
Family reflection reading
6. Kids Job Board
This sixth system was created because the kids often asked to go to the stores and buy things like extra squishes/toys and trending things their friends as schools had. This was intentionally created to give them some spending money that they had to earn because the bill was really starting to rack up and was becoming unpredictable with how many daily requests there were.
In this job board we made sure that we created jobs the kids could do around the house that were within their capability and kept any limitations they had in mind. We wrote out the job requirement on the back and the rules of the job board stay posted at the top of the job cork board on display at all times for the kids. This helps them understand the value or money and that it usually isn’t handed out, but earned and paid out at a certain date when you have a job.
Kids Job board video clip
7. Entertainment for non-screen time
When we thought back on our ways to earn screen time and the consequences for when they don’t earn screen time we knew that there would be times when the kids were going to claim they were bored. We still wanted the kids to be productive and learn while also knowing we needed to find a way that they can entertain themselves during the school year on days when it was snowing, raining, or too cold to go outside. That’s what brings us to the last system, which is the journaling cart and the reading nook.
In this system, we have created a way for the kids to do their own self reflection, try to make hobbies with book making, drawing, journaling and designing crafts. We also put together a collection of books and cleared a small section in our main living room where they can have a reading nook. We believe that the kids should still find a way of entertaining themselves without the family game night and screen time and this was the solution that we came up with.
My kids reading nook
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